Missing Taylor

I am not sure if anyone really reads this… But if by chance someone is reading this right now, thank you. It means a lot that I am able to share my brother with people through this blog, and I am blessed that you are taking time out of your day to read these posts.

I know I have described Taylor a lot in past blogs, but seeing as it was just the 4th of July, which was one of Taylor’s favorite holidays, for more than one reason, I felt I should write another post.

Taylor loved the 4th of July. Ever since he was little, he loved being able to do what boys do and cause some mischief for those around him. Fireworks just gave him another excuse to be a boy… What boy doesn’t like playing with fire and things that explode without warning sometimes…. No matter what age the boy may be.

He also loved being able to spend time with his family, whether it be just sitting on the couch, watching a 4th of July special on tv, a movie as a family, a barbecue of hamburgers and hot dogs out on the porch together, lighting off fireworks with friends and family, or watching the fireworks display from my aunt and uncle’s house while eating barbecue’d foods and spending time with our extended family, he loved it.

He loved the different colors and shapes of the fireworks when you lit the fuse and watched it soar into the sky. He loved the big ones. You know, the ones that get so “close” that you feel like you can reach up and touch them, when really, they are far away?? The ones with the giant crash “BOOM” after the wonderful color display… He loved those!!

I remember the years at my aunt and uncle’s house where all of us kids would lay on blankets in the grass and watch the fireworks burst overhead, while the adults would stay on the deck. Sometimes we would play hide and seek in the bushes and stuff around the neighborhood. 🙂 Having such an age difference between Taylor and I, 10 years… Taylor would sometimes put me on his shoulders and run with me through the neighborhood, trying to chase down our cousins. 🙂

While these are all fun memories of Taylor, that I will definitely cherish for a long time, I feel there is one specific reason he loved the 4th of July… I feel like that was because it’s a holiday celebrating the freedom of our country… A freedom that was won, and still being won by countless Americans over the years… Taylor wanted to be a Marine. He wanted to have a hand in fighting for the freedom of our country, and maybe even sometimes saving people’s lives… He had a huge heart for the underdogs and I know that he loved everyone, no matter what they were like, or what they had to deal with or had gone through. Taylor was all about helping people, and would do whatever he could do make a difference. Even if that meant losing his life.

That reminds me of when my mom had to have her brain surgery for a brain tumor, and she had given each of us… My sister, Taylor, and I “Bible Promise Books” before she and my dad had left for Arizona for the surgery. This happened a year or so before Taylor died… He had written on the inside cover of his little book
“Dear Lord, If you must take a life, I wish that you would take mine instead of my mother’s. In Jesus Name, I pray-Amen”

Now, we didn’t find that book again until after he died in 2002, but seeing that a year later definitely took us by surprise. It was definitely shocking to see, and know that Taylor was so willing to give up his life for Jessie and I to have our mom, because he knew we needed her, even if that meant we would lose him… And in a way, God answered his prayer…

Taylor was amazing. Willing to make a difference in this world, in the lives of those he loved, as well as those of strangers…. for the sake of others.

I miss you Taylor, Happy 4th of July. I thought of you with every firework.