Another Birthday Without You

Four days ago, we celebrated what would have been your 33rd birthday.

That seems so strange. It doesn’t seem like it has been longer than a year since you were taken from us. In reality, it has been almost 14 years…

Birthdays are supposed to be such happy occasions, celebrating another year of life. But for you, it’s different. We remember the life you lived while you were here, with the people you loved while you were here.. The smiles, the stories, we try to bring happiness to your day, just like you would want us to if you could celebrate with us. Even when it seems like the hardest thing to do. Even when the only thing I feel like doing is screaming at the sky to give you back to me..

Your niece and nephew were so excited to hear stories about you. They love and miss you so much. It breaks my heart that they never got a chance to meet you while you were here. But that doesn’t mean they can’t know you now through our stories.

Jade brought you flowers this year… I say she brought them to you, but really, she brought them to the place your body is. You are in a much better place now, and as much as I miss you, I wouldn’t change that… Even if I could. No matter how much I want you back.. It wouldn’t make sense.

My life changed the day you were taken from us… It changed the lives of everyone who knew you, everyone who loves you. But each year, on February 21st, I continue to celebrate the life of my older brother. A life that was too short in length, but there was definitely not a shortage of love.

Being your little sister for those 9 years changed my life. Losing you changed my life. I am so blessed that I got to have a brother like you for as long as I did. You are the best older brother a girl could want, and I love and miss you so much. I hope you had a great birthday this year. You are loved.